


A Heart is a Heavy Burden

by Astarael06



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, M/M, Thorin-centric, made up mythos, no violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 10:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5662603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astarael06/pseuds/Astarael06
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Arkenstone didn’t shine anymore.<br/>Although its not the only thing Thorin has to worry about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Heart is a Heavy Burden

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd and with far too many parenthesis.

     The Arkenstone didn’t shine anymore.

     It was a strange thing, the stone that had shone even in the depths of Erebor, had lasted through Thor’s rule, that had called to him in the dark of night, had lost its glow. The stone had been placed back into its place above the throne and then, nothing. There was no fading light, no sputtering as whatever life within the gem (for it had been generally agreed by the dwarves upon the initial finding of the stone, that there had to be _some_ sort of life within the thing. Because there was stone sense, then there was _Arkenstone sense_ , and all dwarves, whether they heard the mountains breath, or were unfortunately stone blind (which had only become an acceptable affliction after Smaug came and there was no mountain for anyone to hear; before that stone blind was considered a birth defect within the hearts of dwarves) heard _something_ from the stone, felt _something_ , although what that particular something was, meant, was a matter very much up for debate). It had simply died, as if it had never lived.

     To say that Thorin was confused would be an understatement of the greatest order, although beyond the prevalent feeling of confusion it would be difficult to pinpoint his lesser feelings. He was almost insulted, that the stone should give its light to his mad grandfather, should remain even in his father’s disappearance (because even though there was no one to see it shine in their exile, there was also no one to see it not shine and it was difficult to imagine the Arkenstone _not_ shining, so no one ever really had) and through Thorin’s own madness; it seemed the gravest insult to his sanity and Kingship for King’s jewel to suddenly cease its shining when he was able to truly take the crown. No matter that Balin maintained that the stone, however alive, was not _sentient_ , and that to take it as a personal affront was woefully petulant behaviour befitting of a child and not a King, Thorin could not let go of those little pieces of hurt that had lodged themselves in his heart, when he considered the fact that the stone may have deemed him unworthy.

     (Like most people, Thorin did not care to have his own self-deprecation validated by outside sources; however much one may be inwardly condemnatory, one should never be forced to hear others say such things. Or have them implied by a stone.)

     He was also incredibly frustrated (a feeling shared by Balin who could not lecture Thorin without becoming a hypocrite; if there was one thing his ageing tutor despised it was hypocrisy. This of course did not bring the King any sense of perverse satisfaction. Such a reaction would be considered _petulance_ ), after a rather dangerous quest and terribly worrying battle, in which his entire line had been threatened, and he had only managed to survive after his burglar threatened Thranduil with whatever it was he had learned during his time skulking around the Elf King’s palace. Whatever the tidbit may be, it was enough the convince the Elf to lend his healing powers to Durin’s heirs (Thorin had calmly (whatever the hobbit may later have reported to Oin, Thorin had indeed remained quite calm, calm within reason at least, and not exacerbated his condition with needless anger) informed Bilbo that such information would be invaluable in future dealings with Erebor’s neighbour, so naturally Erebor’s King should be informed of such vital material. Bilbo had disagreed), however lacking in grace the bastard’s attentions were whenever he was in the tent.

     It was undeniably _frustrating_ , to have undergone all that they did, and to have a gem that couldn’t even be used as a nightlight anymore, let alone as a way to summon all the dwarf armies and showcase his right to such a muster. The Arkenstone had already caused far too much trouble for the King-who-had-spent-a lot-of-time-not-being-under-the-mountain, and it seemed determined to cause even more trouble. He was going to have to change the oaths of loyalty now, and that process was for too long and frankly boring to contemplate at this moment, so best put a pin in that for the moment.

     But the Mahal forsaken thing wouldn’t bloody _shine_.

     It had one arseing job (beyond the whole symbolism and the bordering-on-worship adoration that some dwarves bestowed upon it, but all the dumb rock had to do was exist for it to be a symbol, that wasn’t really a job worth mentioning) and it had royally fucked it up.

     Royal fuck ups were apparently a theme concerning the stone as of late, however Bilbo had promised the Dwarf King that all was forgiven, and if he were being quite honest, Thorin had hopes of his burglar’s feelings extending somewhat beyond simply friendly forgiveness (even if the thrice damned Hobbit was all but impossible to read in such situations (Thorin wasn’t inept in such manners, others were simply far too annoying) and his true feelings evaded the King’s perception) and into a more pleasing realm of affection.

     Everything appeared to lie within the realm of _almost_ , concerning Bilbo; almost didn’t come (on the quest), almost died (several times), almost got lost (several times), almost kissed him (Thorin was sure Bilbo had wanted to kiss him on the carrock, but it was possible that he was projecting his own wants and desires onto the poor Hobbit, but…), almost become a large lump of charcoal (only once, technically, but repeated exposure to the dragon should perhaps be taken into consideration), almost died at Thorin’s hand (because of Thorin)–

     That last almost was less than appealing to think about.

     But the fact remained that Bilbo was firmly rooted in the _almost_ category, wherever the King was concerned especially, and never seemed to teeter over the brink. Whether it be backwards into a _Valar never, please never speak of this again and I shall now return to my Hobbit hole_ (Smial, Thorin had been informed several times, was the correct term, but he found it amusing to deliberately use the wrong word just to see that look of exasperated indignation of his Hobbit’s face ( _By Yavanna, Thorin, I know I have told you this before_ ) that Thorin was sure he was not supposed to find as alluring as he did), but also never forward into _take me now Thorin, I’m yours_.

     (Thorin had before been informed on his inability to eloquently put forth his feelings, most often by his sister Dis, and Dwalin. In one instance Dis had found his attempts at, well for lack of a better term, erotic poetry; he was duly informed that it was neither erotic, nor could it be classed poetry without insulting all poets and he should never try again. But Dis could not read his mind (Thorin was about 85% certain of this), so in his imaginary conversations with Bilbo, he could be as ineloquent and clichéd as he wished, and no one would be the wiser. However, if he were ever to woo the Hobbit, Thorin supposed he would have to work on his verbal romantic sentiments)

     Bilbo had made no indications of wanting to either leave or stay (beyond his current status of not-leaving), so Thorin was left both an ex-burglar who might possibly be an almost-something-else and an Arkenstone that didn’t really live up to its name anymore, under his mountain. Suffice to say that he had no idea what to do with either of them.

     Yes, Thorin was confused.

-*-

     After some contemplation, Thorin decided the best course of action would be to deal with one of the aforementioned issues at a time; never half are two things where possible, always whole arse one thing.

     Given the time sensitive nature of one issue (it was entirely possible that Master Baggins could up and leave at any moment, which made him a time sensitive issue) and the issue being a rock that most certainly wasn’t going anywhere (it couldn’t stop glowing again so really what more could go wrong with it at this point?), Thorin made the decision to put the Arkenstone in a cupboard for now, and hopefully go and secure himself a consort, if the Hobbit were amenable to such a thing.

     This was entirely rational prioritising, no matter what anyone (Balin) had to say on the subject.

     Although, first he had to devise an ingenious plan that would, in fact, allow him to woo said hobbit and ensure that he would want to stay with Thorin, until the remaking of the world.

-*-

     “Master Baggins I want – that is I have come to tell you – I wish to say that – that – the crux of the matter is - - Balin wishes to see you. I just wanted to tell you that. Yes. Balin. Matters to discuss. With you. By your leave.”

     (Perhaps the direct approach was not the best of ideas)

     To say that Bilbo was confused would be an understatement of the highest order.


End file.
